What’s the point in saying “I’m feeling good” if you know, that you are actually far from feeling “real” good? That, as soon as you stop taking those light meds, you can start all over again? We’re so damn good at lying to ourselfes, to the point where we actually *believe*. This includes lies from “I’m the best” to “I’m not worth a penny”. Bad luck, if you end up lying the wrong lies to yourself, one could say. Putting the process in reverse on the other hand.. well. The first thing you will realise: How things should be and how things actually are, from a rational point of view. And from that point on (if you *really* got it), you feel a sting in your brain’s frontal lobe, everytime you realise that what you’re thinking is actually “lying to yourself”. The abyss you try to avoid like cats avoid water. Basic instinct. Because you know that it will take you one hell of a struggle to get out again. It’s fascinating how simple and how complex this whole issue is, simultaneously. Or maybe I’m just a little bipolar on top of everything. But if it’s just that.. keep it coming. ;)
You better learn to swim..
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mmm. have you seen total recall or sth. similar lately? anyways, one trigger to this vicious circle is spending too much time with just yourself, as i found out. blurrs the reception of reality somehow. so getting out should be as easy as to meet some other people, work in a team, discuss a lot… just the thing i happen to avoid. circle closed